Captain’s Log. Daddy Chronicles. Diaper Date 1720. There’s no easy way to say this. The Captain lied to his daughter. You see, over the weekend the family fish, Nemo, perished. Fortunately, Nemo didn’t die belly up, he simply laid low.
We had a moment of trepidation. One of the family dogs, Bailey, died 2 years ago and the Eldest still talks about it. She wants to get a puppy now and name it Bailey 2. A sequel.
We meet new people and the first thing my daughter tells them? My daddy is awesome? No. I love my parents? No. She says, “My dog died.” The teary eyes of the adults that greet me, sadden me. I feel like they judge me. Why don’t you buy her a new puppy? You are unfit to be a father. You should be ashamed of yourself!
Mrs. Captain and I pondered breaking the news to her. Mrs. Captain made a good point that if we told her then she would name the puppy, that we aren’t buying for many years, Bailey Nemo. And she said that she just couldn’t take it.
This was the moment that I felt like my life was becoming a Modern Family episode. So I asked myself, “What would Phil do?”
And suddenly I found myself driving to PetSmart where I found Nemo’s doppleganger.
Yeah. I bought the Eldest a new fish. To replace her dead fish – which she doesn’t know about…until she discovers this blog years later.
Daddy’s sorry honey. Your fish was a fake. But if it is any consolation – the tank was empty for two days and you didn’t notice. We did it because we love you. If you are mad, it was your brother’s idea…
R.I.P. Nemo the First.
Long live Nemo the Second.
So have any of my readers replaced a pet, or fabricated the reason/manner in which the animal disappeared? Spill your confession in the comment section!
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