Captain’s Log. Daddy Chronicles. Diaper Date 1628. The diaper dweller is definitely testing the whole unconditional love thing. It has been a rough week of sleeping in the Captain’s house. Between preparations for the winter theater production at school and the inauguration of the 6th diaper dweller tooth there has been considerable interruption of sleep.
Then there was last night.
He fought and fought sleep until finally he was down for the count. Down to the point that it seemed like he would sleep all night. Translation: We would sleep all night.
However, the diaper dweller had other plans.
At approximately 1:30 a.m. he stirred and rose like Frankenstein (it’s Frank en steen) without all the lightning.
Try as she might, Mrs. Captain could not get him to sleep. For a full hour she tried every trick, but he only wanted to play. That’s when she made the AT&T call to the bullpen for the closer, The Captain.
And the Captain immediately blew the save.
When the Captain scooped the boy up the game was lost. Why? Because the boy smiled.
The Captain realizes that he should be happy, proud even, that his kid adored him.
But not at 2:30 a.m. Especially when the alarm goes off at 5.
The Captain rocked the child – an exercise which probably feels like riding one of those old wooden roller coasters, or riding down a street full of potholes. No worries, safety is ensured. The head and neck are protected, but the sleeps are not.
The problem? The process also puts the Captain out.
After the first round the Captain thought he had the diaper dweller down for the count. His head slumped on the Captain’s shoulder. The Captain slowly rocked.
Then the diaper dweller picked his head up, smiled, and laughed. Literally. And to make certain the Captain heard his laugh, and knew he was awake, the diaper dweller punctuated the laugh with a slap. The boy has a mean jab.
30 minutes later. The Captain and the diaper dweller were fast asleep in the chair.
We can’t do this again tonight. Mrs. Captain is tired and the Captain may be on the 15 day DL with a chin contusion. In the meantime, the coffee is ready. Time to go to school.
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