Captain’s Log. Daddy Chronicles. Diaper Date 1621. The Captain remembers those annoying contraptions that girls would make in middle school – you know the ones that looked like cubes? You could manipulate the cube and a series of numbers and colors would appear? It would always start off with someone asking you to pick a number and a color and based on your picks it would unveil your future. The Captain always hated those things.
Well, the eldest has discovered them. Hers is much more flat and there isn’t as much math that goes into the formula. And I am pretty sure that she makes up the predictions each time instead of the customary written sentiments about which teacher you were going to marry, or how many cars you’d have, or how much money you would make, etc.
“Daddy, pick a number,” she says.
“One, two, three. Now pick a color.”
I was nervous about my future being in the hands of a four year old.
“You will live forever and never ever die.”
Great! So my daughter has either granted me salvation or thinks I am a vampire.
“And you will always do dishes.”
Or she has sent me to Hades.
Wanting to share this sentiment with Mrs Captain, the Captain unwisely states, “Sounds like H-E-L-L”
And what does the eldest do? Starts spelling of course, “H. E…”
“ELF! It sounds like being an ELF!” Whew…the Captain’s quick thinking prevented the teaching of the first swear word.
We finished dinner without incident and any further use of that darn cube.
In other news…the diaper dweller learned how to walk – with assistance. He for behind one of those push cars and took off. He sprinted, stopped, looked back and fell on his bottom laughing. Later, he tried again, took off and couldn’t handle the momentum. Loudest crash from a little person I have ever heard.
This experience gave me some inspiration, however.
The diaper dweller is going to be a bobsledder.
It’s perfect. Low risk. High upside. Just an unfortunate outfit. But, if I start putting him in a bobsled uni now…he will think it is normal. I just have to teach him the Cool Runnings song. Wow. I have work to do.
Feel the rhythm. Feel the ride. Get ready! It’s bobsled time! Coool Runnings!