The Sharpshooter

Captain’s Log. Daddy Chronicles.  Diaper Date 1801.  This past week The Captain’s Crew went to the State Fair.  Always a good time.  I have already documented how The Eldest managed to eat almost all of the available forms of sustenance. 
The second trip was a food recon mission and last ditch effort for The Eldest to ride some rides. 
We were moving along just fine when we ran into Hello Kitty. 
The Eldest had not yet been officially introduced to the world of fixed Fair games, so we hadn’t had to discuss limits on what games she could/could not play.  Then she saw Hello Kitty and had to have her. 
The game?  It was the cheesy squirt the water at the target and race three other people game. 

The Eldest was insistent.  The Captain reluctantly plopped down the requisite $3 and sat down with The Eldest to squirt water.

$3 to do what we could do at home for free in order to win a toy that was probably assembled in a thirst world country by an individual who probably didn’t make $3 for a month’s worth of work making a toy that is probably worth a mere dime.  Yes, that is a run on and The Captain doesn’t care. We are talking about a 30,000% markup and social injustice.
There was only one thing The Captain could do. Win. 
With the permission of The Eldest, The Captain was permitted to “help”- which meant the girl would sit on my lap and help me hold the water gun. 
We warned the girl that there was a slim probability of her winning.  The bell sounded and the game began.  The degree of difficulty in winning a game becomes exponentially more difficult with a 4 year old “helping”. 
Alas, the game went on and our light lit up to show that we won.  The woman in charge of the game even talked some trash to the other competitors, “You just got beat by a squirt. Ha!”
The Eldest beamed as Hello Kitty officially joined our family and became the most beloved cheap toy a child could possibly love…
Until yesterday when she left Hello Kitty at our neighbor’s house overnight.  But that is a story for another day. 
For now…Captain Out.

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