Captain’s Log. Daddy Chronicles. Diaper Date 1595. The mornings have been a bit of a struggle. The eldest feigns sleep and refuses to get out of bed thus delaying our daily launch. I have resorted to tickling and will escalate to pouring buckets if water if necessary. The diaper dweller, ever present in ky arms during this daily episode, does not help things as he greets her with a manly
yell screech. I can barely handle it. Suffice to say the girl does not appreciate it.
Monday morning was incredibly special. During latrine duty, the eldest was commanded to flush the latrine. Which she did. While washing her hands the latrine malfunctioned. The Captain heard the sound of large amounts of water splashing, headed to investigate, and was greeted with the blur of the eldest who successfully evacuated the spill site unscathed.
While the Captain eliminated the flow of water and swabbed the decks filled with water, the eldest found it funny and
helped sat and laughed. During her laughter she saw that the diaper dweller was crawling toward certain doom. She rescued him in the best manner she could. Her hold was remeniscent of Brett “the Hitman” Hart’s signature sharpshooter submission hold. The diaper dweller protested, but he was dry and safe. Then Mrs. Captain saves him from the clutches of the eldest and pool of water.
Crisis was averted.
Fortunately, there was no waste product to cleanup, yet it was not a fun morning.
The Captain’s family is preparing for the infiltration of Ye Super Bowl crowd coming to our fair city. The crew contemplated renting our house, but decided we would have to pay someone to stay here given the craziness that occurs in a daily basis.
Well it is time to place the rubbish out for the weekly retrieval. Have a good day.